W: WALKING ON THE PHONE
I know you want to sound relaxed and busy with other stuff, but calling her from your cell phone while you walk has the opposite effect. I once called this girl Jasmine while I was walking down six flights of stairs and, though I thought it would come across as busy-guy-who-can-only-catch-up-on-phone-calls-while-getting-to-the-train, it came across as psychotic-pervert-who-likes-to-jerk-off-when-he-leaves-messages. Apparently her roommates saved it forever and would smoke pot and laugh their asses off to me going, “He ey ey Ja ah ah sm sm sm ine ine, wha at s u up?” and so on. When I finally went over there, they were staring at me with bug eyes going, “Holy shit, that’s the phone guy!” Anyway, just stop by the dumpster next time you’re leaving a message. You don’t need to be breathing like that.
Mix tape: Wire, “Outdoor Miner,” or the Germs, “What We Do Is Secret”

from: http://www.viceland.com/int/v10n3/htdocs/the_vice_guide.php?source=db